During the promotion of my album Stripped, I got tired of being a skinny, white girl. I am Ecuadorian but people felt so safe passing me off as a skinny, blue-eyed white girl. So the next time my label saw me…I was heavier, darker and full of piercings! [laughter] Let me tell you, that wasn’t an easy pill for them to swallow. I had gained about 15 pounds during promotion and during my Stripped tour with Justin, they called this serious emergency meeting about how there was a lot of backlash about my weight…basically they told me I would effect a lot of people if I gained weight. The production, musical directors people I toured with would ALSO miss out if I gained weight because I would sell no records or tickets for my shows. I was young, so I lost the weight quickly and was toothpick thin during Back to Basics promos and touring. So I told them during this Lotus recording ‘you are working with a fat girl, know it now and get over it’. They need a reminder sometimes that I don’t BELONG to them, it’s my body. My body can’t put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore - My body is just not on the table that way anymore. I am 31, my boobs are Max’s and my pussy is mine…Sorry.
A recent study of college males studying psychology, published in 1997, found that 10 percent believed that it was acceptable to hit a female partner for refusing to have sex, and 20 percent believed that it was acceptable to do so if the man suspected her of cheating. Studies have found similar statistics regarding young men’s belief that they have the right to force a female to have sex if they have spent a substantial amount of money on the evening’s entertainment or if the woman started wanting sex but then changed her mind. These studies point to the importance of focusing on changing the entitled attitudes of abusers, rather than attempting to find something wrong in their individual psychology.
Bancroft, Lundy (2003-09-02). Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (p. 59). Berkley Books. Kindle Edition.
remember ladies: withholding sex is literally worse than rape or abuse. And this mindset has only gotten worse.
You cannot use someone else’s fire; you can only use your own. And in order to do that, you must first be willing to believe you have it.
Audre Lorde (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
hey, esamarimacha, I got that fire. Just like you told me.